Chamblee54

“After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.” /// It does not seem to do any good for me to voice my opinion. Nobody listens. Nobody gives a damn. Just as easy to keep my mouth shut. It all pays the same. One of these days, it won’t matter anyway. /// The very worst line in Latin poetry’ was, according to Professor Tyrrell, achieved by Statius when he apostrophised the condition of childlessness as ‘to be avoided by every effort’ (Orbitas omni fugienda nisu). /// Why is it that #OccupyLA can sleep on the lawns of City Hall willingly but legitimately homeless people aren’t afforded the same comfort?… /// “I wouldn’t watch this show if you taped it to a rock and threw it through my window.” /// I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned /// I have often wondered .. Why do some people THINK that they are so much better than me? LORD please KEEP YOUR ARM around my shoulder and your hand over my Mouth! !! /// “Dagara people [in Burkino Faso, West Africa] have made up their minds that they can’t live without elders.They know well enough that in the absence of the elders, the container of cultural wholeness breaks and social chaos arises. Indigenous belief in this is so strong that tribal communities cannot understand how cultures can thrive without elders, the same way that a modern person would have a hard time imagining a life without electricity and running water.” /// After Daylight Savings Time ended, I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, “You idiot! You’re supposed to turn your clock back!” /// young hot thang fuck my bra and gave em brain expect me to love her i could never be a lame attracted to u sexually but u aint my main /// Ignore previous message. /// “Most men employ the first part of life to make the rest miserable.” — Jean de la Bruyère /// The world is divided into two kinds of people: People who show up, and people who are poopyheads. /// “When you’re young, you look at television and think, there’s a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realize that’s not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want. That’s a far more depressing thought.” — Steve Jobs /// “A revolution without cuddling is not a revolution worth having.” ~ Emma Goldman /// Thought for the day: I stand with the 99%! (but I’m still buying a new iPhone!) /// #dontbemadatmebecause you have no friends. Not my problem that you walk out of every single friendship that goes on in your life. /// I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick. /// Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I “knew how to shake my thing”. From now on we go to the bathroom as a team. /// I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot… /// Apparently, I kept going on about how i’m going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move. /// CTO: Hey, what are you doing? Female working on office chair with power screwdriver: Trying to prove I don’t need a man. So far, I’m succeeding. CTO: Totally wrong power tool for that. /// Coworker No, no. He is not retarded. He is just a creepy Bastard. /// Drive-through customer: Yeah, I’d like a number 7, and I want those fries hot and fresh. Cashier: Okay, number 7. What did you want to drink? Drive-through customer: Didn’t you hear me? I said I wanted hot and fresh fries! Cashier: Sure, I heard you. Drive-through customer: Well aren’t you going to do anything about it? Cashier: Oh, don’t worry. I pushed the “hot and fresh” button. Drive-through customer: Oh… okay. /// Admin assistant to partner: Enough with the accountant’s version of internet porn. Can’t you google boobies like a normal man instead of governmental auditing standards? /// Flu shots are gross. They have like formaldehyde and crazy shit in them. I was glad I’ve never gotten one when I read about what’s in them. The good part is that your body can start producing web fluid now and you’ll be swinging around the city in no time!

Agent #1: Is that Harry Potter on your notebook? Agent #2: Yeah, I was just writing in it. Agent #1: I read one of the Harry Potter books. It was totally demonic. Agent #2: Really? What was the story about? Agent #1: I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention. ///hmm not sure that is a good thing LOL /// “Too much capitalism does not mean too many capitalists, but too few capitalists.” ~ G.K. Chesterton /// @tejucole: A pair of tough dames, Grace and Onobong, dissected each other at a beer parlor in Oworonsoki. Love rivals. /// Love gave her strength RT @tejucole Franca, 59, of Anambra, delivered 6 children,…, but couldn’t deliver D 1.5kg of cocaine in her luggage /// Jesus take the wheel…cause I need to reach in the back & smack these smart ass kids!!~ /// Some men are like alley cats, when they feel like they are not fed enough at home,they go rummaging through the trash! /// The difference between surprise and suspicion is whether the number of eyebrows raised is even or odd. /// If our elbows bent the other way, we could constantly pat ourselves on the back, but we wouldn’t be able to masturbate. Tough call. /// When Marshall Bean left the Army in 1965 after eight years’ service, he inverted his name to escape his creditors. His new driver’s license and Social Security card read Naeb Llahsram. Unfortunately, this fooled the Army, too, which drafted him back again in 1966. It took him more than a year to convince them he’d already served. “All this is his own fault,” an Army spokesman told the Associated Press. “It would not have happened in the first place if he hadn’t spelled his name backwards.” /// 12,000,000 people live here in Tokyo. I know I’m not alone. Others must feel the way I do. /// *An eppy of CSI then sleeps me thinks…Then another long day at the office…Payday better be worth it this week *chuckles* /// Operation See As Many Parts Of The World For Free As Possible is going strong with an early start tomorrow for legs 5 and 6 of 2011… /// In the wake of the death of Indy 500 champion Dan Wheldon, a look at the dangers of auto racing: /// Middle Eastern guy with only very slight accent, to his lawyer: So do you think the judge will let me out of the contract? Middle aged white lawyer: Sure. Just say that the interpreter signed the contract without telling you what it said. /// Little girl, leaving theater: But why, daddy!? Father, with heavy Long Island accent: Cuz it was rainin’ meatballs /// Girl #1: Why are you wearing a man’s batman shirt? Girl #2: Because Batman is the best darn superhero in the world. Well, not in the world. That’s Jesus. After Jesus, there’s Batman. /// Accidently said “your going to hurt the baby” when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant. /// This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck. /// He gave me a hug and said “He doesn’t deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I’d fuck you anytime. Any. Place.” I need a new ‘gay’ friend. /// I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive. ~ Joseph Campbell /// Onomasticist Elsdon Coles Smith keeps a file on unfortunately named law firms. His list includes Ketcham & Cheatham in New York, Wind & Wind in Chicago, Ruff & Ready in Miami, and Dilly, Dally, Doolittle & Stahl in Akron. Novelist Paul Auster insists he encountered an Irish firm called Argue & Phibbs. /// “My opinion of mankind is founded upon the mournful fact that, so far as I can see, they find within themselves the means of believing in a thousand times as much as there is to believe in, judging by experience.” — Augustus De Morgan /// “What you can do is simply a matter of what you will do.” — The Phantom Toolbooth /// He throws nickels as though they were manhole covers /// toxic chemicals and virus strains grown on living tissue and/or genetically modified in sterile laboratories are in your body now…great /// selah