Chamblee54

A facebook friend recently posted an address for something called Hundreds of Proofs of G-d’s Existence. There are 666 examples. PG wonders if the thought of somebody reading all of these would be proof number 667. The list is the handiwork of Atheists of Silcon Valley. Pictures are from Little Five Points, which isevidence the G-d does not believe in providing adequate parking. This is a repost . 001 TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT, a.k.a. PRESUPPOSITIONALIST (I)(1) If reason exists then G-d exists.(2) Reason exists.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//005 MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT(1) G-d is either necessary or unnecessary.(2) G-d is not unnecessary, therefore G-d must be necessary.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//010 MORAL ARGUMENT (II)(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.(2) That all changed once I became religious.(3) Therefore, G-d exists//014 ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE(1) Look, there’s really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it’s too complicated for you to understand. G-d exists whether you like it or not.(2) Therefore, G-d exists//016 ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF(1) If G-d exists, then I should believe in Him.(2) I believe in G-d.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//039 ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF(1) The majority of the world’s population are nonbelievers in Christianity.(2) This is just what Satan intended.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//048 ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PLASTIC DESIGN(1) Barbie dolls were created.(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//052 ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY (II)(1) How could G-d NOT exist, you bozo?(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//053 ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY(1) The Bible is true.(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.(3) The Bible says that G-d exists.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//054 ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION(1) Proof of G-d’s existence will be available when you rise bodily from your grave.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//099 ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSE(1) G-d exists.(2) [Atheist makes counterarguments.](3) You know what? I am offended.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//100 ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER (I)(1) G-d exists.(2) [Atheist makes counterarguments.](3) You have my prayers.//101 ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM(1) I don’t know and you don’t know either.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//113 ARGUMENT FROM EYEWITNESS (SOMETIMES FOLLOWS OR COMBINED WITH LACK OF EYEWITNESS I)(1) Someone wrote the creation story in the Bible.(2) That someone must have been an eyewitness to the described events.(3) The only possible eyewitness was G-d.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//121 ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (II)(1) Jesus said that people would make fun of Christians.(2) I am an idiot.(3) People often point that out.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//125 ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN MORALITY (altho it could probably be adapted to just about any religion)(1) Somewhere, someone who called himself or herself a Christian did something nice.(2) This person was probably not lying.(3) Therefore, this person was a Christian.(4) Therefore, Christians do nice things.(5) Therefore, Christians are moral.(6) Christians believe in the Bible.(7) Therefore, the Bible is moral.(8) The Bible is G-d’s word. It says so.(9) Therefore, G-d is moral.(10) (We are just ignoring all the not-nice things that Christians may or may not have done in the past, it’s hard to trust history anyway, there are enemies of G-d working everywhere).(11) A moral G-d would be really nice.(12) Therefore, G-d exists.//128 ARGUMENT FROM WWJD(1) I have the “What Would Jesus Do?” T-shirt, bracelet, baseball hat, and shoelaces.(2) I wear them in public.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//174 ARGUMENT FROM STUPIDITY(1) I am stupid.(2) G-d made man in his own image.(3) There are all horrible disasters going around the world.(4) G-d is omnipotent in power.(5) G-d is too stupid to do anything about these things.(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//217 ARGUMENT FROM WIND  (1) You believe in wind.(2) But you can’t see it.(3) G-d’s the same way.(4) It IS TOO analogous!(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//235 ARGUMENT FROM UNICORNS(1) Unicorns don’t exist, especially invisible pink ones.(2) Therefore, G-d exists//243 ELABORATED ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE(1) Because.(2) Because why?(3) Because!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//250 ARGUMENT FROM POOR TYPING SKILLS(1) In tihs essae ill demnstrate that G-d exsits in a way tat’s so sure thatno athesit can PSOosibly reftue. J will firts dwmonsrtate waht we canaSSUme fo rG-d exisnce,,then how wwe can refute anya rgument wihch pretends teh contrrary to eb true,tehn wel’l expose scinetific evidnece thatG-d eeexists then we’ll cnolcude. yOU will fnid an acurate&up6to6date bibliography no teh page 43 of tihs essay;i Sugegst yu to pritn iths doculent for a mroe confortable raeding.(2) [Atheist doesn’t bother to read it.](3) Therefore, G-d exists.//251 ARGUMENT FROM UNTRANSLATED OLD FRENCH(1) Mais pourceque j’avois déjà connu en moi très clairement que la nature intelligente est distincte de la corporelle; considérant que toute composition témoigne de la dépendance, et que la dépendance est manifestement un défaut, je jugeois de là que ce ne pouvoit être une perfection en Dieu d’être composé de ces deux natures, et que par conséquent il ne l’étoit pas; mais que s’il y avoit quelques corps dans le monde, ou bien quelques intelligences ou autres natures qui ne fussent point toutes parfaites, leur être devoit dépendre de sa puissance, en telle sorte quelles ne pouvoient subsister sans lui un seul moment. — René Descartes,Discours de la Méthode(2) How could you possibly refute that?(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//322 KARL MARX’S ARGUMENT FROM MASSIVE OPIATES(1) Got to keep the public distracted.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//355 ARGUMENT FROM SEMANTIC UNCERTAINTY(1) Atheists can’t quite agree on the exact definition of atheism.(2) Therefore all atheists are wrong.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//366 ARGUMENT FROM ANAL FRUSTRATION(1) G-d my ASS!!(2) My ass exists.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//400 ARGUMENT FROM PULP FICTION(1) G-d came down from heaven, and stopped those motha-fuckin’ bullets.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//401 ARGUMENT FROM VOLTAIRE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY INVENTION(1) Voltaire said, “If G-d didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”(2) I concur.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//402 ARGUMENT FROM NIETZSCHE (1) Nietzsche said, “The only excuse for G-d is that he doesn’t exist.”(2) Not true. G-d’s got PLENTY of excuses.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//403 ARGUMENT FROM FIGHT CLUB(1) We are G-d’s unwanted children.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//406 ARGUMENT FROM SOME JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES AT PERCHANCE’S DOOR (ULTRA-CONDENSED VERSION)(1) Russia was atheistic.(2) But Russia collapsed.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//407 ARGUMENT FROM 2+2=4(1) 2 +2=4(2) Think about how improbable that is.(3) If the universe were left to random chance, 2+2 would probably not equal 4.(4) Instead, it might be equal to -43, or 7,894,321,695,844, or something else.(5) Only G-d could make 2+2=4.(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//419 ARGUMENT FROM CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM(1) I like chocolate ice cream.(2) I opened my freezer, and behold, there was chocolate ice cream in it.(3) G-d is so nice with all his little attentions!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//420 ARGUMENT FROM MISDEFINITION OF A RELIGION(1) You don’t want to be an evolutionist, do you?(2) [Atheist explains that evolution is a scientific theory, not a religion.](3) But you believe in it.(4) That means you support Social Darwinism.(5) And that’s just yucky.//(6) I don’t want to be yucky, so I can’t support evolution.(7) But I need some explanation for the origin of life.(8) [Atheist: Evolution has nothing to do with—](9) Therefore, G-d exists.//421 ARGUMENT FROM ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES(1) First of all, I’d like to thank my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.(2) [shout out to all my homies in the balcony](3) I couldn’t have done this without Jesus.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//444 ARGUMENT FROM POT(1) Everything on Earth is here for people to use.(2) Weed makes you feel really good.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//452 AUDREY MEYER’S ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE(1) Ignorance runs rampant.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//459 ARGUMENT FROM PENIS ENLARGEMENT(1) I became a born-again Christian when I was 12.(2) Since then, my penis has grown about 2 inches.(3) Hence, belief in G-d enlarges your penis.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//497 ARGUMENT FROM LIGHT SWITCH(1) My husband slowly died of cancer.(2) But the light switch in the cellar somehow started working properly again, and to my knowledge my husband hadn’t fixed it before he died.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//510 DR. LAURA’S ARGUMENT.(1) G-d either exists or doesn’t exist.(2) How can G-d not exist?(3) Whore.(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//513 ARGUMENT FROM RESPECT(1) You have to respect my right to believe that G-d exists.(2) You also have to respect my right to believe that I don’t have to respect your right to believe that G-d doesn’t exist.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//553 ARGUMENT FROM CLOTHING(1) Fundie: “Why do you wear clothes?”(2) Atheist: “It is cold, I like having pockets for stuff, my body isn’t too neat to look at, and most of all, I would be arrested and forced to clothe myself anyway.”(3) Fundie: “No. You wear clothes because Adam and Eve sinned and were kicked out of the Garden of Eden and made ashamed of their nakedness.”(4) Atheist: “What about primitive societies where the natives go bare-assed without embarrassment?”(5) Fundie: “The word of G-d hasn’t reached them.”(6) Therefore, G-d exists.//562 BILLY GRAHAM’S ARGUMENT FROM TALKING TO G-d(1) “I talked to Him this morning.”(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//579 ARGUMENT FROM AUTHORITY (CLASSIC FORMULATION)(1) G-d exists(2) Why?(3) Because we said so!(4) Therefore, G-d exists.//599 LADY HOPE’S ARGUMENT FROM DARWIN(1) An American preacher said that Darwin recanted on his deathbed, and started to read the bible.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//629 ARGUMENT FROM MATH(1) A guy once tried to prove all religions true using math.(2) Math only proved that Christianity was true.(3) All other religions were proved false with math.(4) Oh shut up. That makes perfect sense.(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//639 HERBERT W. ARMSTRONG’S ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE AND THE BIBLE(1) When I was young, I searched for truth.(2) Science kept changing what it called truth.(3) The Bible didn’t change what it called truth.(4) Therefore, the Bible must be true.(5) Therefore, G-d exists.//652 ARGUMENT FROM FORMER NIHILISM(1) My life was empty and meaningless without G-d.(2) With G-d my life is not empty and meaningless.(3) Therefore, G-d exists.//653 ARGUMENT FROM LIBERAL SPIRITUALITY(1) Not all liberals HAVE to be against religion, you know. In fact, LOTS of liberals are religious.(2) Therefore, G-d exists.//666 ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION (1) G-d exists. (2) Therefore, G-d exists.//