Chamblee54

This is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , six, and seven are previously published.Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
101-like my predecessors, I outlaw Bokonon John is preparing to become President of San Lorenzo, and he considers legalizing Bokononism. Reality intervenes, and he realizes that there is nothing he can offer the starving peasants to replace the thrill of an outlaw religion. Like when the US government outlawed cigarette commercials, including the toe tapper for 101. They were 101 millimeters long, a silly millimeter longer than the longest cigarette available. Even though TV ads for cancer sticks were outlawed, people continued to smoke. All it did was give the tobacco companies more money, because they did not spend it on tv commercials.
102-enemies of freedom As part of the installation of John as president of San Lorenzo, a collection of cardboard bad guys are floating in the ocean. They will be ceremonially murdered by Air Force planes. The villians include Joe Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, Adolph Hitler, and Kaiser Bill. Even in 1959, few people remembered Kaiser Bill. He was the big dog in Germany during World War One, which was called the European War at the time. The idea that there would be a World War Two was not fashionable, indeed some called the first conflict ” the war to end all wars”. In Gallipoli, an Australian gentleman says that if he does not go to Gallipoli and fight the Germans, then the Germans were going to invade Australia and fight him there. This was said about our war in Babylon.
103-a medical opinion on the effects of a writers strike John and Philip Castle discuss a writer’s strike, until man comes to his senses. This is something that might have been considered in 1959, when reading was an honorable pastime. Today,with all the multi colored forms of entertainment, a writer’s strike would scarcely be noticed. Unless it was for television script writers, and those can be re used, even the ones read by the news casters. In 1959, the concept of a writers strike was something to be feared, something that would cause “petrescenceof the heart or atrophy of the nervous system”.
104-sulfathiazole Have you ever wondered where drugs get their names? Take sulfathiazole. There is something in the sound of certain words that makes them sound different.
105-pain killer John ate some albatross meat at a reception, and ran screaming from the room. He wound up in the private chamber of Papa Monzano, who is dead as a doornail. He was killed by ice-nine, turned into a rictus of frozen flesh. This is what some would have predicted for a substance that causes water to flash freeze, since most of the human body is water. Whether this is tap water, bottolled water, canal water, or toilet water makes no difference. Water is water.
106-what bokononists say when they commit suicide Even though this is the updated version of cats cradle, and we have replaced bokononist with bokononer, we will reproduct the chapter titles faithfully. Faithfully is an anagram for fat hill ufy. There is a singer named Faith Hill, either country or gospel, and she did not sing at the super bowl and forget a line to the star spangled banner. PG saw that episode in music history, and didn’t notice. He was waiting for the game to begin, and wondering if he should get more real food or start in on the desserts. As it turns out, he did both. The game wasn’t that great, and the packers won. The steelers threw an interception that was run back for a touchdown, and it was a pathetic pass. PG has long suspected that most super bowls are rigged, and that pathetic pass would be exhibit a.
107-feast your eyes! John confronts the children of Felix Hoenikker about ice nine. For those who are late to the party, lets refresh your memory about ice nine. Dr. Hoenikker was a research scientist, and he worked on military matters. This is how science usually goes, the best advances are made for military purposes, and once the killing is done, then the knowledge is put to the benefit of the living. The marines were tired of fighting in mud. Dr. Hoenikker concocted a substance that would turn the mud into ice, and then the marine vehicles could drive over it. The only problem is that human beings are made of mostly water, and ice nine would turn them into blocks of ice. A Gomer Pyle popsicle could not kill the viet cong, but could only say ssshazzzzzam ssssaargent caaaarrrrterrr.
108-Frank tells us what to do Two people have been killed by ice nine, and the foreshadowing department of this novel says that more are coming. Currently, John and the three living Hoenikkers are in a room with two frozen corpses. Newt Hoenikker threw up. Frank Hoenikker, the adult in charge, said to clean up the mess.
109-Frank defends himself Fends is a good word, whether the use is for offense or defense. PG once got a certificate for using fend in a sentence. It was 1986, and PG wrote about the newsletters the other tall clubs sent the Atlanta Sky High club. A man named Ryan Anthony did the same thing in Tucson AZ, except his “tall town observer” went on for twenty pages every month. Jared Loughner was not yet born. So, one day, someone wrote in, one of the other tall club newsletters, about a discussion she had with a friend. Do relationships fail or end? PG saw this, and helpfully suggested that maybe they fend. Ryan Anthony was amused, and declared this to be the best one liner in a Tall Clubs International newsletter in 1986.
110-the fourteenth book We learn that ice nine went from the possession of the three Hoenikker children, to the United States, the Soviet Union, and the Republic of San Lorenzo. At least the Soviet Union stole it. This is dissected in book fourteen of the bokonon chronicles. The title of this book is “What can a thoughtful man hope for mankind on earth, given the experience of the last million years? The answer is “nothing”.
111-time out Felix Hoenikker died in a wicker chair, on the beach of Cape Cod, on Christmas Eve. We are going to say it was 1957. The Beatniks and rock and roll were getting going in 1957, in fact, Jack Kerouac was probably at his home on Long Island that Christmas Eve. The only thing was, Jack Keruac was a real person, and Felix Hoenikker was fictional. Any resemblance between him and a real person is coincidental. That is a disclaimer with teeth, putting the dental into coincidental.
112-Newt’s mother’s reticule So Frank and Newt were cleaning up in the kitchen of the Cape Cod house, and accidentally gave this dog some ice nine. The dog froze solid. They went to look for their father, and found him frozen solid. Maybe Papa Monzano wasn’t the first ice nine casualty after all. The kids called the funeral home, and buried dad under a forty centimeter block of stone. They put the dog in the oven. History is not always culinarily proper.
113-history There is a saying that there are three kinds of lies…lies, damn lies, and statistics. PG proposes a fourth division of lie…history. History is written by the winners of wars to justify their murders. History is used by robbers to justify their thievery, often for Jesus.