Chamblee54

PG recently got a temp job making deliveries, and someone said you need a gps device. After thinking long and hard, and taking notes in different stores, the purchase was made.
You don’t just plug these things in and run. Fortunately, PG had a day before he started to experiment. You learn to listen between the lines. When the device says 400 yard ahead, and you know that it is really 200 feet, you just make the turn where you know you need to go.
The first day of the job started, and PG was in a familiar neighborhood, and found the first stop with a map. Then, he had to decide where to go next, and noticed that the list of stops was in a logical order. The device was plugged in, the next stop punched in ( zipcode, streetname, number …something you learn during experiment day), and the next stop appeared, as if by magic.
The afternoon of the second day, the job was getting a bit easier, and the device was working like a charm. You learn that it will tell you to make a turn twice, and will tell you again before the turn. If you pass a street, and it doesn’t say to turn, then that is not the stop.
PG began to think too much, and realized that there was an element of trust, and “submitting to a higher power” in the device. While you are getting a message, sometimes you have to understand the message. A few minutes later, PG drove through spaghetti junction, and the device got confused. The good news is, PG knew the correct ramp to get on.
About an hour later, the device said to stay on Pleasant Hill and cross Peachtree Industrial. (Atlanta readers will know these are heavy traffic roads). As soon as the crossing was made, the device said to turn around and make a left turn. The honeymoon is over.
The stop of the moment turned out to be a nail salon in a shopping center…at the location where PG was turned around. Instead, PG took a left at the light, and drove a half mile north until the device told him to turn into an apartment complex. The complex had a gate, and PG called the lady on the list. She was Vietnamese. After a few confusing minutes of conversation, PG made another left turn on Peachtree Industrial (without a light), and found the nail salon.
The directions for the next stop were punched into the device. Make another left on Peachtree Industrial, and turn right into the gated complex. Call the lady, and find out that she does not live in a gated complex. Instead, she lives in a complex off a road a mile south. PG turns the device off and finds the complex using the verbal instructions.
The good news is, the device started to perform better after this, but the aura of perfection was in a tangled heap, at the gated complex. The next day, PG had a stop in “de hood”, and the device gave a couple of shaky instructions. Perry Boulevard is no place to get lost, especially on a delivery with no telephone number. The stop was a retirement home, the lady was located on the phone box in the lobby, and all was well in the world.

Part two is a repost . Maybe I am not a real man. I once asked for directions.I don’t think that jokes about asking directions are very funny.
It is a rule that female comedians cannot perform without telling at least one joke about men not asking for directions. Never mind that when you ask for directions, you are asking for trouble. Many directions from strangers will leave you more lost than you already were.
With GPS systems coming into popularity, the female comedian is an endangered species.That is, unless she marries a Cuban bandleader, cries a lot, and dyes her hair red.
Did the Three Stooges ever ask for directions?
Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years? He wouldn’t ask for directions.
Mapquest is not a perfect solution. It can steer you into wild goose land just as surely as that toothless man at the gas station.
One I had to take something to a place outside Gainesville. My boss gave me the mapquest directions he had used before, and said that he got lost using them.
I called the lady I would be taking the product to. She gave me directions to the place, and I found it without a problem. ( Sometimes people give good instructions). I mentioned that her directions were good, and she said that they were the same ones she gave my boss.
Mapquest is a good tool, but is not the final word. A map book is your friend, even if it is not perfect. Urban Legend has it that cartographers will insert nonexistent streets into their product as a method of copyrighting. Maybe female comedians can make jokes about that.