Chamblee54

PG is a native of Atlanta, Georgia. The economy is based on getting folks to move here. The whining is tolerated if the checks clear.
There is a list of rules today on FunnyJokes about life in the west. PG suspects that it is similar to what goes on here. People from the outside world don’t always fit in. Sometimes, making a list of suggestions helps to relieve the stress.
PG has met enough people from the west (they move to Georgia just like everyone else) to know that rule 13 has a LOT of exceptions.
Editorial comments by PG below are in gray.
Cowboy rules for: Arizona, Texas , Colorado , Oklahoma , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho ,and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.//2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.//3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.// 4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south.. Pick one and go.( As Lewis Grizzard used to say, Delta is ready when you are)//5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed.. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.(Both bankers are worried)//6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.// 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin’ in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.// 8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop. (Do you really want to eat sushi from the corner bait shop?)//9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.//10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.// 11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.//12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah . . We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!//13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.// 14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.//15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.//16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!