Chamblee54

Father Tony put up a video today about “How to argue”. The concept is that conflict is inevitable in human relationships. The secret is how to deal with it. He makes a few suggestions about “How to argue”. It is not a complete list. There is one very important word that he does not use.
Listen.
When someone is saying something to you, it is very helpful to listen to them. Do not think about the clever thing you are going to say in reply. Do not think about how this person is a hypocrite for saying something (Even if…or maybe especially if…they are a hypocrite for saying something).
Don’t think about problems that you have with this person. Shut up and listen. Do not interrupt. It is helpful to turn your eyes from the tv or computer, and look at the person who is talking to you.
The person who “starts” the argument should return the favor by keeping his remarks as brief and to the point as possible. Many people think they should talk until they are interrupted. You should be as concise as possible, speaking only about the issue at hand.
The louder you say something does not mean that it has more truth. The more respect you show a person you are talking to, the more respect you can expect them to show you. This is another thing that you can offer a person who shows you the courtesy of listening.
Listening is not valued in our culture. It is passive, and talking is active. Many seem to feel that they are losing power to a person if they shut up and listen.
Have you ever heard a person boast about the clever things they say? Have you ever heard a person boast about how good a listener they are? Maybe the priorities of our culture are out of whack.
Father Tony also mentioned the concept of venom in an argument. He maintains that some people are naturally venomous, and that it is a trait that you need to learn to control. PG would like to observe that people should not use Jesus as a form of venom. This should be obvious, but so many super Christians use Jesus (and the Bible) as a tool of their anger. The third commandment is a very underrated piece of work, and Jesus Worshipers would be wise to obey it.